This is a post I've been wanting to tackle for a while. Now, while everyone is different, there is one thing you can be sure of when it comes to increasing the intensity and extremity of your "healthy lifestyle." This might not apply so much for those who are all about "balance" and will eat chocolate cake when out with friends, and resume with their treadmill and salad the following day. This post will likely reach those who are or have experienced dieting and training for competitions, photoshoots, extreme weight loss goals, etc.
Before I delve in further--remember WHY you changed your habits, WHY is it an absolute necessity to stick to your written plans 100%. There is nothing wrong with your routine, so long as it is helping you accomplish whatever you set out to accomplish. People will turn their nose up, tell you that you dont "need" to diet, or that it "won't kill you" to miss a workout or eat a pasta dish. Don't give into them.
The truth is, our society revolves around food. Family gatherings, birthdays, meetings, celebrations--all tend to involve food. A gathering of two or three or ten friends is seemingly incomplete if food isn't involved. It seems that every single time a friend wants to meet up just to talk, the request is "lets do lunch!" Here's your problem. You pre-make all of your meals, calculate your daily macronutrients. You don't just "do lunch," unless you have at least a week notice to plan for it. This obviously stresses you out. What to do? Do you tell your friend that you're busy? Go, and not eat? Eat your pre-made chicken and green beans in the bathroom? NO thats ridiculous. If you're like me, you don't go. Sad to not be able to enjoy someone's company, but there is no need to sacrifice being content with your eating schedule just to chat with someone. If your friend really wants to see you or just hang out, there are other options. Go for coffee, go for a walk, see a movie, ask if they'd like to join you for a cardio session.
The problem is, this sort of thing happens a lot. People start to take offense. It's not that you don't wish to hang out with friends and spend time with people you like, but it's really not fun to be the spectacle for eating healthy food every single time you go out. Even if you go to the restaurant and order a salad with lots of veggies, grilled chicken (specified no oil, absolutely plain) and no dressing -- people who are supposed to love and support you will likely make comments: "What a shocker." "You're really ordering that again?" Do you ever criticize people for ordering french fries and burgers and desserts bigger than their head?! Absolutely not, because it's their body, they can eat whatever the heck they want! But people don't see it that way when you try to peacefully eat chicken and cucumbers.
The solution I've settled for is one that many are faced with: lots of time alone. I have absolutely no problem being alone, and I urge that people don't confuse "alone" with "lonely." I am 100% happy with hanging out at my house, eating my little meals, watching TV, blogging, getting in my workouts, writing down my thoughts and meals, and going to sleep. I don't really "go out" at all. I don't "date." I barely have friends. I have a few girls that I adore and make sure to keep in contact with, and they are the ONLY people that even SEE me outside of the gym! But this is the way i LIKE to operate. Right now, my body is my number one priority, and the solitude helps me stay focused. People, so-called "friends" often work as a distraction, and can lead to you feeling BAD about the way you choose to live.
Changing your physique, or dieting down for a show are not social sports. Sure, you could offer to bring lunch for your friend. They're not going to be interested in your "x ounces lean protein, x ounces green veggies, x teaspoon healthy fat." It is important to evaluate how important your physique is at this time in your life. If you are loving your workouts, enjoying experimenting with different healthy recipes, into drinking smoothies, that's fine for you. Enjoy sitting with your friends or family members at cafe's and just sitting back and relaxing. It is PARAMOUNT to conduct yourself in such a way that benefits YOU. It is YOUR life. Family upset that you don't eat the same food at dinner? Upset that you don't join them for a day at the beach because you can't miss your scheduled 2 workouts? It's okay. Ultimately, you need to do what makes you happy. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that you cannot please everybody. You will only be happy when you are doing exactly what makes you happy.
I smile at the end of the day when I reference my written meals, and compare them with what I did eat, and the two are a perfect match. When I complete both my 45 minutes of fasted cardio in the morning AND a grueling training session followed by plyometrics and cardio, I am happy. Did I miss out on an invite to go shopping and have lunch? Maybe, but I'm not upset. Many days, I don't talk to anyone other than a "hi" in the gym, or obviously at work. I talk to my family, because I live with them, and love them. Lots of days, my phone gets 0 text messages, and I don't find the need to send any, because I am in my world, and very happy there.
Social media , mainly twitter, has been an absolute savior for me personally. It is so difficult to connect with like-minded people (umm, probably because they're all hiding like me, eating their meals in the parking lot outside the gym or sacked out on their couch after an exhausting day of training.) Twitter has enabled me to talk to some brilliant, motivated, inspiring, and determined people (both young and old) in the field of fitness. Some people just "get it." I love to read blogs, watch interviews with competitors, read Pauline Nordin's updates on facebook (she's the official badass of my news feed, and at the pinnacle of my fitness motivation..) Fitness has become that thing that consumes every thought. Nearly every thought that runs through my mind has to do with looking better and getting stronger and leaner.
Don't get me wrong--I am SO THRILLED with the way I look now, and am PROUD of the hard work I've done. I can truly look back on the past 2 years and say I've busted my ass to get myself here. But lots of people get to a point where they thrive on challenge--the challenge of getting so lean that it's almost dangerous, the kind of lean that lands you on an advertisement for a fat-burner. And that is what is going to make me (or the theoretical "lots of people") content. When you set out to do something, DO IT, and don't stop because it makes other people uncomfortable. Fuck them.
People will say they want to be a part of your life. You want them to be there too, don't you? You just don't want to share their ice cream sundae. Evaluate who is of paramount importance to your life, and take the time to explain what you're going through. Explain that you love them, they mean the world to you, that they shouldn't take offense because you'd rather eat dinner at home. The people who are meant to stick around for the long run WILL understand. These people likely know how dedicated you are, and they will learn to stand by your side, despite your "crazy behavior" or "obsessive tendencies."
Training is a solitary sport. It only takes one body to lift a barbell. It only takes one body to move the green beans from the freezer to the stove. Most of your friends arent going to sit down next to you and oogle competition coverage on bodybuilding.com. ITS OKAY! They don't have to. You don't need other people to approve of your interests. You like big muscles? GREAT! Go pump iron! Your best friend's boyfriend thinks your inspirations look like men with implants? Who cares, you're not dating him! And he probably has a small penis. Just saying.
So now, I will close this post with the immediate inspiration for writing it: I'm on "vacation" in LA and haven't sat in ONE restaurant, gone shopping, or done anything most people would consider "fun." i've eaten every meal out of tupperware, and worked out twice every single day. I practically own the hotel gym at this point. I haven't worn anything other than swimsuits and workout clothes. My sister and mom have gone shopping, gone on a trip to Catalina, gone to fancy celebrity-hangout restaurants. I'm having a great vacation, relatively stress-free trying to stay on my diet. I am HAPPY. I don't need big price tag shopping and decadent salads on Melrose to enjoy Los Angeles. Between Runyon Canyon EVERY morning (my knees are crying now) and having a private gym to use every afternoon, I couldn't ask for a better set up. Trader Joes right across the parking lot, and a microwave and fridge in my room. Sure, might sound like a boring vacation to some, but I'm 100% happy. At this juncture in my life and training, I cant afford to sit back and eat whatever and workout for fun. I'm all about intensity right now, and that's what I'm depending on. And that is what works for me.
Find what works for you. Understand it, be comfortable with it. Take the time to explain it to those who deserve the explanation. For the people that just pass judgement and make you feel bad about the choices you make--you can decide their fate. Kick them out of your happy place, or feel free to make it work if you so desire. Or just revisit them in 3 months.
And now it's time for me to eat my last meal of the day, which awaits me in a clear box with a blue lid.
Love,
Liz
No comments:
Post a Comment