everything I'm interested tends to revolve around LOOKS. As a dancer and fitness obsessee, everyone around me is always trying to look better (ie: dancers want to be more snatched, wanna book more jobs, same thing with fitness. every blogger or competitor wants to be leaner, more muscular, have a nicer butt, eat cleaner than the next.)
Here I am right in the middle of it. One minute I feel super lean, happy with the progress I'm making...then I sign onto facebook and see that the girls winning Ameteur and Pro Bikini at the past Weekend's Arnold look way different than me. While I'm tempted to say they look "better" than me, I'm not going to say that. Sure, they're leaner. They likely broke down their bodies for the weeks and months leading up to that contest just to look paper-thin and muscular on stage. But that degree of intensity isn't supposed to last 365 days a year, so they say. They have an "off-season," in which they probably eat and train closer to how I do...some might train harder than me, others might slack a bit.
Where am I going with this ? Well , at the moment, I'm not preparing to step on stage in the world's most revealing sparkly bikini. That's next year. But there's something INSIDE of me that makes me PUSH PUSH PUSH beyond my own mental limits, and I Get so FRUSTRATED when I'm so sore that it hurts to walk, haven't eaten a single carb before 12pm...it makes me want to kick myself sometimes! But, then I remember, I'm always pursuing the better version of me. Yeah, okay I'm small, I have nice muscle tone, my bicep veins pop out when i lift. It's all good. But due to my CRAZINESS, it's not good enough. I often look at way too many pictures of women I want to look like, and forget to appreciate my own progress. Building a physique is a journey, painful and beautiful at the same time. I love the foods I eat, I adore my workouts (besides the squats, maybe,) and my heart rate monitor and ipod are some of the best company i could ask for.
You know what I want YOU to take away from reading this? Even if you spend tons of time looking at photos of people you want to look like, or abs you need, and reading the latest exercises and post-workout secrets for shredded abs...make sure doing such MOTIVATES you. Don't let it discourage you. Did you follow a workout plan from a fitness magazine because the model had an incredible physique? You finished it, put all your effort into it, AND made the suggested post-workout shake afterwards? GREAT. Oh, you looked in the mirror after you workout and didn't see a ripped midsection? Well, what the heck. It doesn't work that way!! We (I) need to remember, this is a JOURNEY and a lifestyle. Changing your body doesn't happen overnight. When we pull back from crazy fit-monster mode, we know this. But sometimes the DRIVE takes over LOGIC and you run yourself into the ground. I come to this realization every once in a while. It often comes at a point where I'm uncomfortably sore, my digestive system is breaking down because I eat too much freakin' spinach *seriously, I need to tone it down,* and I've been looking at TOO MANY bikini and figure competition pictures. How will I overcome this and re-charge? I'll take a day off from the gym, not eat a THING until my body cries hunger, and just relax. The next day (This time, will be en route to LA to spend 5 days with an AMAZING fitness inspiration, VICTOR SELF! )
--Can't wait to do some GREAT blogging in California, and give you guys a taste of Runyon Canyon, The LA Dance scene, and West Hollywood Equinox.
This blog was very therapeutic for me to write, and if you read the entire thing, THANK YOU.
Everyone who has been reaching out lately and asking me personal questions (there have been LOTS of you lately!) Thank you. You guys reassure me that I'm meant to do this for a reason. There's a purpose for my blogging, beyond my passion and self-motivation to do so. The only thing I love more than my own pursuit of fitness and health, is encouraging others with their own pursuit. I thank you for letting me share my knowledge and philosophies with you.
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